Ok stress is no longer my friend...

Not that my life is that stressful to begin with, I just think I'm particularly bad at dealing with it.

It used to give me problems in high school too:

I would be that smart kid who never got worried or stressed out before an oral presentation... My fellow students were probably jealous that I could keep my cool so well until the very very last minute. A typical oral presentation would go like this:

  1. Very little preparation from my part... And no stress during the weeks of preparation given to us.
  2. Casually walking in the classroom on The Day.
  3. Entering some kind of a transe while the others are performing and during which I'm feeling a bit weird.
  4. Doing my own presentation, as if I was a spectator, with no recollection of actually presenting.
  5. Walking back to my desk, legs starting to shake, hands starting to sweat and my face decomposing into a river of sobs and cries...
  6. Leaving the room and trying another calmer spot to sit down before my legs give up under me and lose complete control of my body.
Weird huh?

Anyways, the psychologist at my high school used to make me meditate on a regular basis and she would hypnotize me before each and every oral presentation. That trick seemed to work into making me "feel" a biit more stress before the oral presentation and that would normally avoid the big meltdown that normally followed.

Now, years later, and thinking this is all behind me, I'm starting to notice a recurring pattern since I became pregnant. It seems that everytime I have a deadline at work, if have to present what I've done to my superior, I feel very sick on that day. I swear I'm not making this up!

Yesterday was once of those days and my discomfort went as far as making me restitute my breakfast on my train ride to work in the morning... At first, I blamed the food, then the lack of sleep, then I didn't know what to look at but I felt really crappy all day long until I got out of the dreaded meeting at 2 pm, "magically healed".

I believe our emotions can get the best of us if not dealt with properly and I think I'm probably not adapting so well to being a big ball of emotions... Not that I'm not enjoying most of it, but rather, it seems to be a learning process and I still have much to learn in that department. The big surges of emotions I experienced this weekend (baby shower and all) did not make me any bit worried about my meeting on Monday... until it was too late and I crashed.

Note to self - must start meditating again.


Jen @ After The Alter said...

I'm very much like you. When I was younger I was diagnosed with "nervous stomach" I felt ill alot and it sucked! It comes and goes now..my stress materializes in different ways...headaches, stomachaches, night terrors..lol

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